


I Saw Eddie Accidentally Kill Santa Claus

by PieOfEpicness



Series: Santa Eddie, Hurry Down The Chimney Tonight [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Copious Amounts Of Swearing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Santa Clause AU, Santa Eddie, Slow Burn, the author also projects some of their asd symptoms onto Eddie, with hints of Noelle AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28315365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PieOfEpicness/pseuds/PieOfEpicness
Summary: There’s some more shuffling on his roof, and what sounds like some grunting, so Eddie just opens the door as slowly as he can, and reaches for the mop.“Okay, now hand me the sack, and watch carefully…”They’re almost in, Eddie realises, and rushes for the front door, ready to try and scare the guys off, as much as anyone can in their underwear in the snow.“GET THE FUCK OFF MY ROOF!” Eddie shouts into the night, running into the yard so he can look up at it. All too late, he sees the sight of a sleigh, reindeer, and two men dressed in red all just up there on the roof. Eddie’s eyes go wide, and his jaw drops. “Oh my god.”OREddie accidentally kills Santa Claus, and now must become the new one.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Santa Eddie, Hurry Down The Chimney Tonight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073759
Comments: 13
Kudos: 25
Collections: Writers Revolution Secret Santa 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blondekaspbrak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondekaspbrak/gifts).



> This is part of a Secret Santa, and is for blondekaspbrak! I hope you enjoy this :)
> 
> The greatly anticipated follow up to Do I Know You? is here! I've got three chapters all written out and the next two will be coming out over the next few days. Some smutty chapters soon after that, so subscribe to the series if that's something you're interested in. Otherwise, thanks for coming, and I hope you enjoy this silly and ridiculous little thing, it was a lot of fun to write. Happy holidays!

Eddie is angry for  _ two  _ reasons this Christmas Eve:

  1. Eddie had to work right up until this evening. He’s not really annoyed about that, he doesn’t have anyone to go home to at the moment, and it means his coworkers can go home early. He’s a nice guy like that. It was the driving home and trying to concentrate on the road while-
  2. Arguing with Myra, his soon-to-be ex-wife, about the fact that she _failed to tell her parents about their pending divorce_ , and is now expecting Eddie to make a seven hour drive to be with her on Christmas morning.



The whole situation just really grinds his gears, and Eddie can feel how hot his face is and can feel his forehead vein throbbing as the anger courses through him

“Myra, what the  _ fuck _ would make you think I would do something like that for you?!” He shouts into the air. He never really had the guts to stand up to her during their marriage, and he’s really reveling in taking the opportunity now.

“We have  _ history _ , Eddie. I thought our marriage meant something to you.” She sounds close to tears, but Eddie doesn’t care.

“You could offer to give up your alimony and  _ I still wouldn’t come out there _ . You’ve dug this hole, you can sit in it with your parents. You can go fuck yourself, Myra,” and he hangs up on her before she can argue back.

Eddie takes a few deep breaths, and rolls down his window just a crack so some freezing cold air can cool him down. He doesn’t turn on the radio, just concentrates on the dark freeway ahead of him. Sometimes you just gotta sit in silence and stew in your own feelings. That’s all Eddie feels like doing right now, on his drive home.

Eddie did not expect to be this bitter about his divorce. Eddie didn’t expect Myra to be this bitter, either. He didn’t expect to be coming out in his forties. He didn’t expect to be coming out at all. Eddie didn’t expect a lot of things.

He pulls up outside his humble abode, a little two bedroom house that is very much on its last legs, and is little more than a shack at this point, with peeling paint, a dead garden, and a mean steel ring of a fence surrounding it. Eddie’s been meaning to do some sprucing up of the place, but he works long hours during the weeks, and by the time the weekend’s come around, he’s too tired to do much of anything.

Despite his coat and scarf, the cold wind still bites at his face once he gets out, and hurries towards his front door. Eddie lets himself in, shivering all the while, and sets about making himself a nice, low fat hot chocolate to settle down in bed with. 

Christmas alone isn’t so bad, Eddie thinks as he makes himself into a nice, little blanket burrito, the hot mug warming his hands. Stan and Patty said he was more than welcome to join them, but Eddie had thought it too weird spending the day with families he didn’t know. Eddie doesn’t need to worry about making anyone a fancy dinner, doesn’t need to worry about buying presents for children he doesn’t have, doesn’t need to worry about decorating a tree or his house.

Eddie is perfectly fine with spending Christmas alone. He is. He really is

That’s okay. He can treat himself to a pizza, maybe. Get ahead on some work. Think about how he wants to renovate the kitchen, though he knows he won’t get around to doing it himself. Watch a sappy Christmas romcom and not think about his lack of a love life.

That’s not sad.

Eddie isn’t sad about that at all.

He watches some episodes of The Office, finishes drinking his hot chocolate, and settles down to go to sleep.

*~.~*

**_BANG!_ **

Eddie wakes up in an instant. He freezes, listening carefully, hoping that it was just his imagination. He looks around the dark room, trying to think of reasonable explanations for such a noise. But then there’s another  _ thump _ , and another, right on top of him, and whispered voices, and all Eddie can think is  _ oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! _

“Now, son, you gotta be quiet, son, you don’t want to wake up whoever’s inside...”

_ Too late _ , Eddie thinks, trying to think of how to defend himself against the intruders. The only thing he can think to grab is the mop in the cupboard. He doesn’t have a gun (and will never have a gun), nor does he have a baseball bat or anything.

“I know, dad.”

Eddie sneaks, as quietly as he can, from his bedroom, down the hallway and to the cupboard with his cleaning supplies. The door squeaks as he opens it, and his breath stops, trying to discern whether he was heard or not. There’s some more shuffling on his roof, and what sounds like some grunting, so Eddie just opens the door as slowly as he can, and reaches for the mop.

“Okay, now hand me the sack, and watch carefully…”

_ They’re almost in _ , Eddie realises, and rushes for the front door, ready to try and scare the guys off, as much as anyone can in their underwear in the snow.

“ _ GET THE FUCK OFF MY ROOF! _ ” Eddie shouts into the night, running into the yard so he can look up at it. All too late, he sees the sight of a  _ sleigh, reindeer, and two men dressed in red _ all just up there on the roof. Eddie’s eyes go wide, and his jaw drops. “Oh my god.”

The older man, the one with the beard, the one that looks like fucking  _ Santa Claus _ , is startled by Eddie’s shout, and quickly begins to lose his balance, arms flailing about comically as he tries to balance himself. And then, like a scene from a horror movie, and too fast for anyone to do anything, the man falls, and impales upon himself upon the metal fence just below him.

“Oh, shit,” Eddie panics, hands on his head as he begins pacing back and forth. “Oh my god, oh fucking god!”

“Dad!” The younger man says, quickly scaling down from the roof on a ladder that has magically appeared, running to his father’s side. “Dad, dad, oh my god, holy shit!”

“I’m gonna, I’ll call 911,” Eddie says, not sure what else to do. “Oh, fuck, I killed Santa. I accidentally killed  _ Santa... _ ” He goes to rush back inside the house to grab his phone, but he stops when the old man waves at him.

“No, no,” the old man says, coughing up blood. “It’s okay…”

“Dad, no, I can help you!” The younger man says, holding his father’s hand. “Come on, I can pull you up!”

Eddie watches as the son tries to pull his father off the metal spikes, but stops as Santa cries out in pain. It’s a heart wrenching scene, watching the two men have their goodbye. Santa says a few quiet words as the younger man cries, holding onto his father’s hand, until, quite suddenly, he disappears, and the suit hangs limply on the fence, empty.

“What the fuck!” Eddie shouts. “Where did he go?”

The younger man stays still for a few moments more, just crying and shaking, while Eddie paces back and forth in the snow. Then he sniffles, stands up, and pulls the torn suit off the metal fence, storming over to Eddie.

“Put on the suit!”   
  
“What?”   
  
“Put on the fucking suit!”

Eddie can see the tearful, angry look in the man’s eyes behind his glasses, and then looks down at the red suit in his hands, the tear streaking through the chest. He looks back up at the man.

“No! I need to call the police or- or- or something, I don’t fucking know! Fuck, I’m gonna charged with manslaughter! I fucking killed some Santa wannabe!” Eddie rushes back into his house, heart beating frantically in his chest and thoughts racing through his head as he tries to think of what he needs to do. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The man isn’t far behind.

“Put on the suit, that’s what you gotta do!” He shoves it in Eddie’s arms, and looks at him expectantly, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.

“Why? Why do I need to put on the suit?” Eddie lays it across his kitchen counter, looking down at it. It does look comfortable and warm, he concedes. Even with the blood and the tear running through the middle.

“Because that’s just how this works, buddy. You kill Santa, you become Santa. That’s just a law of the universe, so come on, chop chop! Get in the suit, father killer!” The anger and sadness within the man’s eyes is compelling, and with shaking hands, Eddie starts putting on the suit.

The man guides Eddie back out of his house, Eddie making sure to lock the door behind him and phone firmly in a pocket, and he follows him up the ladder and onto the roof.

The sleigh and the reindeer up close are really something. Eddie can’t quite believe what he’s seeing, or what’s happening.

“I must be dreaming,” Eddie says, giving the closest reindeer a pat. Comet, he can see on a nametag, and she’s enjoying the pats.

“I hope I am, too, buddy, I really don’t want my father to be  _ dead _ ,” the man says, getting into the sleigh and sitting with his arms crossed, and it really makes Eddie feel guilty when he starts weeping again.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie tells him, getting into the sleigh beside him. “I definitely don’t quite believe what’s happening, but I’m really sorry about killing your dad. It was an accident, I swear!”

“Whatever,” the man mumbles, wiping at his face. “You’re the new Santa, so whatever. We’ve got a job to do, man, can we just fucking do it?”

Eddie looks ahead at the two rows of reindeer, and at the reins before him. Tentatively, he reaches out, taking them in his hands. What the hell is he getting himself into?

“Uh…”

“Just make like a whipping motion, ya know? You never ridden a horse before?” The man shows him, and Eddie feels like an idiot under his gaze.

“No,” Eddie says, feeling helpless as he copies what the man did. But it does the trick, and Eddie and the man are thrown back as the reindeer start galloping and the sleigh is pulled forward and off the roof, higher and higher into the air. “WHAT THE FUCK!”

“JUST BREATHE, FATHER KILLER!” The man shouts beside him, as the sleigh evens out and they’re flying above the clouds.

Eddie dares for just a moment to look over the side, and the vertigo hits instantly as he stares down at the ground, far below him, street lamps looking like Christmas lights. “Oh my god. I’m flying. I’m flying and it’s not in an airplane with a trained pilot. Oh my god.”

“Make sure to vomit out the side and  _ not _ in the sleigh, father killer.”

“Stop calling me that, I’m sorry! I thought you two were burglars! I thought you were going to rob me!” Eddie doesn’t know if he’s steering the reindeer or not, but he still hangs onto the reins with a fierce grip.

“Rob you? On Christmas Eve? Dude, we were delivering you a present!” The man huffs, and looks more hurt and annoyed than before.

“How was I supposed to know? Two strange men, thumping around on my roof? What else was I supposed to think? And why were you delivering  _ me _ , a forty year old man, a present? I thought it was just for kids.”

The sleigh makes a turn, and Eddie feels like he’s going to fall from his seat, but he somehow remains glued to it.

“Yeah, it usually is. But my dad said we needed to stop at Edward Kaspbrak’s place, and that I needed to come along, too. First year out and my dad gets killed right before my eyes!”

Eddie feels the anger rise within him, as much as the sympathy. He tries to keep his eyes forward, but he also wants to argue with the guy some more. Eddie  _ really  _ hopes he’ll wake up soon.

“I said I was sorry,” he tries again, breathing through gritted teeth as calmly as possible. “What’s your name?”   
  
“It’s Richie,” Richie says. “Richie Tozier. My father’s name is Wentworth Tozier, and my mother’s name is Maggie, who I now have to break the news to when we get home.”

“I’ll, uh, I’ll do that with you, okay? I really didn’t mean it, Richie.”

Richie doesn’t reply for a while, just sniffs a little and wipes at his nose. They don’t speak for a while, the sleigh and reindeer flying until they begin to descend on another neighbourhood. The sleigh lands with a thump on a roof, a small runway appearing like magic for the reindeer to land on.

Eddie looks at Richie, unsure as to what he’s supposed to be doing. Richie rolls his eyes, lifting up his glasses and wiping at them with a gloved hand.

“Look, we’ve just got the rest of the northern states, Canada and Greenland to go. It’s not that much.”

Eddie’s mind boggles at that, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Richie takes a rolled up scroll from within his own suit, unfurling it as he reaches into the back of the sleigh, pulling something up. “Here’s the sack, just take it with you as you go down the chimney, okay? The first thing you grab will be the right present. You got three to deliver at this house.”

“Down the- down the  _ chimney? _ ” Eddie looks around, spotting it. “I can’t fit down the chimney. I know I’m lean, but I’m not a fucking stick.”

“Just go, okay? You owe me,  _ father killer _ .”

Eddie rolls his eyes, then he clambers out of the sleigh, and pulls the red sack out of the back, hauling it along towards the chimney. It’s quite heavy at first, but then it starts getting lighter. Eddie looks back at it, sees it hovering in the air, before it’s pulling him along with it, and he’s hanging on for dear life.

“What the  _ fuck _ , Richie?” Eddie says, as he and the sack come to hover over the chimney.

“Be quiet,” Richie says, looking busy as he scribbles on the scroll. “And don’t hold your breath.”

Eddie closes his eyes as the sack begins to lower him towards the chimney, trying to remain calm and breathe as he’s overcome with the odd sensation of having _every single atom of his body being squeezed_ _down the chimney_. He breathes through it, as Richie told him to, and soon he’s at the bottom, standing in a magnificent fireplace, the sack coming to rest beside him.

Eddie needs a moment to think about what just happened, putting his head between his knees as he breathes. God, what a weird fucking dream. He stands up, and pulls the sack open, looking inside. It’s nothing but black, he can’t see a damn thing. He reaches into it anyway, tentatively, and feels a present, pulling it out. He reaches down two more times, placing each present underneath the nearby tree.

He spots a glass of milk and some cookies nearby, feeling parched and starving from the trip he just had, and he quickly gulps it down and puts the cookies into a pocket to eat on the sleigh.

Then he stands back in the chimney, pulling the drawstring on the sack closed, and it rises up, back out of the chimney. He stumbles back to the sleigh, hauling the sack into the back, and jumps into the front.

“Good work,” Richie says. “Now we just gotta do that a few million more times and we’re done.”   
  
“What?” Eddie whines, feeling tired to his bones.

“Let’s go.” Richie pats him on the shoulder, and Eddie wearily whips the reins.

Eddie spends the next few hours magically going down chimneys, reaching into a sack that he  _ swears  _ is empty every time, and carefully placing presents beneath trees. They fly over land, water, and soon, ice. All places Eddie has never been to while awake. Maybe he’ll go soon. It feels like it takes all the time, yet no time at all, and then Richie is speaking up again, somewhere in Greenland.

“That’s it, that was the last one,” Richie says as Eddie climbs back into the sleigh. “We can go home now.”

“Great. I’m looking forward to getting back into my own bed. How is it still 2AM?” Eddie yawns, whipping the reins, and the reindeer charge forward.

“Magic. Also we’re going back to the North Pole, not back to your place.”

“Oh, right.”

They fly off again, this time bearing North, according to the little compass on the dash. They’re pretty high for a while, all Eddie can see is the stars in the dark sky, more than he’s ever seen before. He sees the splash that is the Milky Way, and a constellation he swears looks like a turtle. There’s the black of the water below them, and soon the brilliant white of the snow. It’s surprisingly peaceful, even with Richie’s occasional sniffs. 

They start to descend over the Arctic Circle, and soon make a surprisingly smooth landing in what appears to be the middle of nowhere.

Eddie looks around, not being able to see much beyond the bright, snowy hills and the dark starry sky. He waits, Richie sitting beside him looking as despondent as ever, the wind beginning to pick up around them. Then, the reindeer take off, set free somehow from their reins, running into the distance, leaving them stranded.

“Uh… was that supposed to happen?” Eddie whispers, turning to look at Richie. But Richie isn’t there. “What the fork! Richie!” Eddie whips his head around, trying to see where Richie went, but he can’t. He’s totally disappeared.

_ Oh my god _ , Eddie thinks. He’s trapped, alone, and he’s not so sure what’s happening is a dream anymore. He sits back in the sleigh, trying to think of what he should do, but his mind is as blank as the snow around him. Eddie just sits there, starting to shiver and crosses his arms, for a few minutes at least just waiting, before finally, something happens.

He hears and feels something shift below him. The sleigh starts sinking down through the snow, and then the snow starts rising above him. Eddie looks timidly around him, the silver tube he’s going down seemingly going on forever, the sky above feeling so far away. But then, below him, a new world begins to emerge.

An entire village comes into view, and the only way Eddie can think to describe it is  _ Christmas-y _ . It’s bright, and beautiful, reminding Eddie of a cosy country village tucked away somewhere in the English countryside. There’s snow, Christmas trees, fairy lights and people everywhere, and they’re all looking up at  _ him _ . Eddie quickly ducks down, not fond of the attention.

He stays ducked down for the rest of the journey, until the sleigh comes to it’s final stop, jostling him from his seat and onto the floor. He pulls the suit around him, trying to blend in, but alas-

“Sir?”

Eddie shakes his head. “No one’s home,” he says meekly.

“Sir, if you could sit up, please,” the voice insists.

“I’d like to wake up now…”

“You’re very much awake,” the voice assures.

“For forks sake,” Eddie grumbles, pulling the suit from his eyes, and looks up at a man with pointy ears. “Of course you’re an elf.”

“My name is Bill, thank you very much,” Bill says as Eddie finally sits up, cautiously peering over the side. “If you’d follow me, Santa.”

“Eddie is fine,” Eddie manages, trying not to trip over the side of the sleigh on his way out.

There are so many eyes on Eddie as he’s guided up a staircase in front of what appears to be the main building. He wants to cower away, desperately wants to wake up. This dream has been going on for  _ far _ too long. He avoids eye contact with the other  _ elves _ that stop what they’re doing on their ways down the stairs. Bill stops him at the door.

“It’s best just to give them a wave and a smile. Come on, before we head in,” Bill whispers to him, and Eddie grimaces at the thought. “You need to show them you’re friendly, a nice guy.”

“But I just forking killed the previous Santa,” Eddie protests. “Why in the heck would they like or trust me?” Bill gives him a pointed look, so Eddie sighs, and he turns around, looking over at the hundreds, if not  _ thousands _ of elves still staring at them. He puts on a shaky smile, and raises his hand, waving it. There’s not much of a reaction, everyone just going back about their business, but Bill seems satisfied, and leads them both inside.

“Alright, you’ve got a lot of information you need to ingest, and not a lot of time to do so,” Bill says, walking down a long hallway. “This way.”

It’s lined with decorations, a few doors and other corridors leading off it. Eddie catches a glimpse of what he guesses to be the main workshop through some windows, but he doesn’t get enough time to take it in before the sight is gone. 

Bill leads him all the way to an office, and makes Eddie sit on the side of the desk with the bigger, grander seat that is more like a forking throne, and he feels like Bill should be sitting in it instead. It’s comfy, the same red as his suit, and Eddie does not feel authoritative enough to be sitting in this seat.

“So. First things first, Santa,” Bill begins.

“Eddie,” Eddie corrects.

“ _ Eddie _ , whatever. I’m Bill, the Head Elf. The Second in Command,” Bill says, introducing himself.

“Second to who?” Eddie asks, feeling afraid of the answer.

“To Santa. To  _ you. _ ”

Eddie sinks back into the seat, overwhelmed. “...oh.”

“Yeah. When you put on the suit, you effectively agreed to become the next Santa. It’s part of the clause.” Bill says it so matter-of-factly, but Eddie just isn’t processing it.

“Clause? Or… Claus?” Eddie repeats.

“Clause, like legally. The suit is the contract, and by putting it on you agreed to fill the role of Santa until… well, until you die.” Bill looks sheepish as he tells him, shrugging. Like he doesn’t know what to say.

“ _ What _ ?” Eddie shouts, jumping up from the seat. “What the  _ fork _ , Bill? Fork… FORK! Shirt! Okay, Bill, are you telling me that I have to live here for the rest of my  _ life _ ? I have to leave everything I know just because  _ I didn’t know what putting on the forking suit meant _ ?” Eddie shakes, wanting to throw something in his anger.

“No, not at all. You’ll only be required here from Thanksgiving through to Boxing Day. Also, um-” Bill twiddles his thumbs, looking like he definitely doesn’t want to share what Eddie is sure is going to be a critical piece of information.

“What else, Bill? What the fork else could you have to tell me right now?” Eddie throws his head in his hands, wishing desperately, not for the last time,  _ to wake the fork up _ .

“You have to get married.”

“What.”

“To Richie.”   
  
“WHAT!”

*~.~*

Eddie must’ve blacked out, because he’s soon coming to when he gets slapped in the face. He can feel the vein in his temple pulsing like it usually does when his temper rises, as well as his hot face. He opens his eyes, looking up at Bill and a new person, one who only has one arm.

“There he is!” Bill says, smiling. “You may feel a little woozy, but that’s just the magic wearing off, you’re gonna be fine.”

“Magic?” Eddie manages, closing his eyes again as a wave of dizziness comes over him.

“Yeah, helps keep the tension to a minimum up here. It makes you take a break when things get too much, puts you to sleep for a bit. Georgie, why don’t you get some of Ben’s famous hot chocolate for our new Santa here?”  
  
“Sure,” Georgie nods, heading out of the room.

“And can you tell Mike to come in, please!”

Bill helps Eddie sit up on the couch he was so nicely placed on. He rubs at his forehead, still feeling light-headed, and nearly topples over again, Bill catching him just in time.

“He only had one arm,” Eddie says, and a hand goes straight to his mouth. “I didn’t mean to blurt that out. What happened to him?”

Bill chuckles, “That’s okay. It’s like when anesthesia wears off and you don’t have a filter. There was an accident when Georgie was a kid. There was an elf who turned out to be very bad and he was actively sabotaging a lot of toys and making them dangerous for the kids. Georgie found out and got his arm crushed. Wentworth, the previous Santa, found out and the elf got banished.”

“Wow, that’s horrible,” Eddie says. “I’m sorry I asked.”

Bill bursts out laughing. “It was a long time ago, we’ve all recovered.”   
  
There’s a knock at the door, and another elf lets himself in, Eddie assuming to be Mike. He looks down at him with a kind smile, and Eddie already feels more at ease in his presence.

“So. Bill told you about the marriage thing, huh? What else has he told you?” Mike takes a seat opposite Eddie, Bill sitting down right beside him.

“Not much before he fainted,” Bill tells him.

Mike chuckles, “well that’s okay. Bill has a lovely way with words, but it doesn’t always mean they’re the right way to say them. I’m Mike, by the way,” Mike says, holding his hand out for Eddie to shake, who takes it gingerly. “I’m a historian, of sorts.”   
  
“Eddie. A historian elf?” Eddie asks, spotting the pointy ears underneath the red, Christmas-y beanie Mike is wearing.

“Yeah. My role here, as part of the support team, is to tell the new Santa of the noble lineage they’ve become part of,” Mike says it professionally, with a smile, and Eddie doesn’t like that very much.

“You make it sound like a cult or MLM or something,” Eddie says. “Do I get much of a choice in any of this?”

“Of course you do, Eddie. While it was by fate that you were chosen to be the next Santa, it is ultimately up to you whether or not to keep donning the suit.”

Eddie feels relieved at the sound of that, and gets to his feet with a smile. “Great! I’ll just head home then, if you’ll show me the exit.”

“Eddie,” Mike says, following Eddie and putting a hand on his shoulder. “While there are other ways of appointing a new Santa, I would like you to think about it. I believe fate is very rarely wrong, and I know there is a reason why you were chosen. Now, I’d really like to tell you about-”

“It wasn’t fate, Mike! It was an accident! I accidentally scared the old Santa while he was on my forking roof, and then he fell onto the forking metal spike fence! An  _ accident _ ! And then Richie was the one that forced me to put on the darn suit. Anyways, none of this matters because this is all a dream, and soon I’m gonna wake up in my freezing bed, in my freezing house, and all will be right in the world. Goodbye!”

Eddie walks to the door, throwing it open to, unfortunately, reveal a small party of Richie, Georgie, an older woman and another elf man. The woman looks like she’s been crying, and she gives Eddie a heartbroken look that makes him feel guiltier than he has in years. Worse than the time he decided to stop taking all the medications his mother said he needed.

Richie gives him an angry, accusatory look, and Eddie is quickly able to assume that the woman is his mother. Georgie and the other elf look awkwardly on, each carrying a tray with several mugs of delicious smelling hot chocolate.

“Uh…” Eddie says.

“Eddie,” Richie cuts across him, voice trembling like he’s holding back a lot of feeling, “this is my mother. I was just bringing her here so we could explain to her what happened.”  
  
Eddie feels himself go red in the face. He hadn’t exactly been shouting, but his rant had clearly been loud enough to be heard beyond the closed door.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Tozier.”

The elf that introduces himself as Ben has them all sit down, Eddie at the throne behind the desk, with a mug of his special hot chocolate in everyone’s hands. Apparently his role within the support team is ‘counsellor’, and Eddie can’t help but begrudgingly admit that he’s good at what he does.

“So, everyone let’s just take a deep breath, waft a bit of the steam from the hot chocolate into your faces,” Ben instructs them all from Eddie’s right.

“You always make  _ the best  _ hot chocolate, Ben,” Mike praises from his seat to the left, right next to Bill. Ben smiles at the compliment, and Eddie internally agrees with Mike.

“Now, let's all take a sip, and feel the warmth spreading through our body,” Ben guides them all to do so, and after Eddie swallows, he thinks there might be magic in the cocoa, too, as it sends the warmth through his core and extremities. “Are we all feeling calm?”

Eddie looks over to Richie and his mother, sitting on the couch. Richie looks reluctant as he shrugs, Maggie nodding beside him as she wipes a handkerchief to her eye. Eddie hums a non-committal hum, going back to staring at his hot chocolate, while Mike gives a very enthusiastic  _ mmhmm!  _ Bill nods beside him.

“There’s a lot of hurt feelings in the room tonight, and that’s okay. A lot has happened, and at the moment, none of it feels good, or nice, or any sort of positive feeling,” Ben says, very clinically.

“Sure forking doesn’t,” Richie mutters under his breath. Maggie elbows him, and Richie just rolls his eyes. “Just being honest, that’s the point of these sharing circles, isn’t it?”

“It is. So let’s go around the room and try to share what we’re feeling at the moment. I’ll start. I’m feeling sad that the previous Santa, Went, has passed on, but I am feeling hope that the new Santa, Eddie, will more than fill the suit. Maggie, why don’t you go next?”

Maggie nods, and takes a deep breath. “I am feeling sad that my husband has passed…” she doesn’t go on, leaning into Richie’s side as he throws an arm around her, and starts crying again.

“Richie?” Ben asks.

“I am sad that my father is dead, and I am angry that Eddie  _ murdered  _ him, and I am also kinda pissed off about the whole arranged marriage thing,” Richie says, looking directly at Eddie while he does so. 

Eddie feels a familiar angry heat that isn’t coming from the cocoa. “I’m not so happy about that, either, Richie,” Eddie just about shouts back. “If this really isn’t a dream, then my life has just forking turned upside down! I said I was sorry about your dad, and I genuinely feel regret for accidentally scaring him off the roof! And I don’t want to marry some guy I just met, who is clearly a dork! I’m also feeling confused, because apparently, Santa is forking real, and now I have to do his forking job! I don’t want this forking job, I don’t want to be in this forking place, and I just want to wake the fork up-”

And Eddie must’ve blacked out again, because suddenly he has several concerned faces looking down at him.

“Maybe we should just take him to bed,” Bill says.

“Yes please,” Eddie says, feeling woozy and uncomfortable.

*~.~*

Eddie is taken to a lovely looking bedroom for the night. It’s big, has a nice rustic cabin vibe with it’s log and stone walls, fireplace on one side and the bed on the other. It’s easily a king sized bed, much more room than Eddie needs, but definitely wants. It’s much more cozy looking than his bed at home. There’s a big TV, a PlayStation, and a redheaded elf woman facing away from him, inspecting a mockup of a Santa suit.

“Uh, hi?” Eddie says, walking up to her.

She turns, smiling brightly at him. “Hi! I’m Beverly,” she says, introducing herself as they shake hands. “I’m the elf who designs Santa’s suits.”

“I’m Eddie. I’m the guy who accidentally killed Santa,” Eddie says, pulling at the tear across his chest. Her smile falters when she looks down at it.

“That was a really nice suit,” she says quietly, reaching a hand out to inspect the damage. “And he was a good Santa. I’ll miss him.” She looks back up at his face, her smile returning, probably to process those feelings later. “Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be good, too! I was just making a mockup for your suit. Every Santa gets their own suit!”

Eddie looks at the mockup on the mannequin. It’s a slightly darker red to the suit he’s wearing now. The buckle is different, different buttons in different places. But still a Santa suit. Eddie hates the instinct he has to try it on. He doesn’t want this, he  _ doesn’t _ .

“You don’t even have my measurements,” he mumbles, the fabric feeling nice between his fingers.

“Don’t need to take them, I’ve been doing this for so long I can go by eye.”

“Thank you,” he says anyway. He wants to be polite. “I like it.”

She beams at him. “There’s pajamas for you in the chest of drawers behind you,” Beverly directs, and Eddie goes to them, spying some pictures on the top.

They’re of Richie, now and younger, alone and with his family. Richie with his mom and dad, looking the most recent, the three of them standing on the steps of the building Eddie came through earlier. There’s a group photo in a park, Richie wearing sunglasses in what Eddie thinks must be a desert, a young Richie with braces, Richie graduating from high school, Richie as a little buck-toothed kid with his giant glasses. Richie and his dad, arms around each other, smiling at the camera. 

Eddie hopes, for the umpteenth time, that this is all a dream and he can wake up and let the guilt bleed away.

“Is this Richie’s room?” Eddie asks, pulling open a drawer and finding a brilliantly red satin pajama shirt.  _ Why not a guest room? _ Eddie thinks. Surely there’s a  _ guest room _ , surely he doesn’t have to sleep beside Richie tonight,  _ surely _ .

“Yes,” Richie answers, coming into the room. “I’m not exactly happy that you’re here, either.”

“Is there a couch I can sleep on somewhere?” Eddie asks, directing the question towards Beverly.

She goes wide eyed, unsure as to how to answer his question. “Uh…”

“It’s magical law,  _ Edward _ , we gotta sleep in the same bed,” Richie huffs, heading into an ensuite.

“What the fork kind of law is that?” Eddie argues back, throwing his hands up. 

“A magical one! Good to know you’re not a good listener!” Richie shouts, slamming the door shut.

Beverly winces at the sound, looking awkward. “I think I’ll just be going,” she says, and is out the door before Eddie can say goodbye.

Eddie sighs, annoyed at himself, the whole situation, everything. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, so as he hears a shower turn on, he grabs the pajamas from the door, and dutifully gets in them. Then he gets into bed, slowly falling asleep to the comforting sound of the shower. He’s briefly awake again when he feels Richie getting into the bed beside him.

“I really forking hope this is a dream, because it was forking batshirt crazy,” Eddie yawns.

“Yeah. I hope so, too,” Richie says quietly, sounding both bitter and sad, rolling away.

*~.~*

When Eddie wakes up, he realises he’s back in his freezing bed, in his freezing room, in his freezing shack that is generously called a house, and he feels incredibly relieved that what happened last night was just a dream. He yawns, getting up and reaching for his dressing gown, and trundles down the hallway to make himself some coffee.

He ignores the obvious signs of someone rifling through drawers and cupboards, putting it down to the fact that the doors always hang loose and the drawers never properly close. He puts the coffee on, making it with the fancy coffee beans he got. He’s just filling his favourite mug when it falls from his hand, his grip failing at the sight of Richie sitting on his couch, casually eating some cereal. He winces as the boiling liquid scalds his exposed legs.

“Hiyah, Eds!” Richie greets him, his eyes twinkling with mischievousness. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: brief emetophobia for the last few paragraphs.

“Hiyah, Eds!” 

“No!” Eddie all but screams. “No, no,  _ NO! _ You can’t be here, because last night was just a dream! An incredibly long, vivid dream that is still going on!” He thinks, momentarily, that he should be waking up now, given the searing pain of the burn, but he pushes that thought aside.

“Afraid not, Eds,” Richie says. “I just figured we should get to know each other before our arranged marriage. Try not to see you as just the killer of my father, ya know?”

“There’s not going to be a marriage because you’re  _ not  _ real. You’re not real because I’m still dreaming. I’m not actually in my kitchen right now, I’m not actually in burning pain, I’m freezing to death from hypothermia in my bed, and these the last throes of my dying brain,” Eddie grits out.

“Let’s go back to the not real thing. What if you’re not real, too, Eds? What if none of this is real? Not me, not you, nothing, man! What if we’re all just words on a page that some fucking person is writing right now? How’s that for your death brain throes! Wake up and smell the coffee, I’m here! I’m here, and you have a responsibility!” Richie throws the bowl that’s holding all the milk and cereal he’s eating onto the ground, looking angrier than ever. “There are hundreds of millions of kids in the world and all they want is for once a year is for a man in a red suit to climb down their chimneys and give them a little joy! Some of them even  _ depend  _ on that, Eds! Are you seriously going to let  _ hundreds of millions of kids  _ down because you’re afraid of change?!”

“Don’t fucking call me Eds! Mike said I don’t have to be Santa if I don’t want to, and I don’t fucking want to! Go back to the North fucking Pole where your ass belongs!” Eddie storms off, as much as he can, hobbling his way to the front door so he can shove some snow onto his burn.

Eddie sits out in his yard for a few minutes, patting the freezing snow onto his burn and calming down, when he sees an ashamed looking Richie shuffling out of his house, coming to sit out to sit beside him. They’re both shivering for a moment, while Eddie can see that Richie is thinking.

He mutters something, but Eddie can’t quite hear it.

“What was that?”

Richie plunges a bare hand into the snow, playing with it as he talks. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m just… my father clearly knew it was coming, he’d already said goodbye to us, even though I didn’t realise what he meant. Before we went out, he’d told me about the time my grandfather had taken my mom out on his last ride, and that was how they met. I just didn’t realise that this was, like,  _ my time _ , and I wasn’t ready for it, either.” He throws the perfectly round snowball straight across the yard and over the fence.

Eddie hums, and gingerly moves his thigh, scraping the snow off to check the burn underneath.

“Here, let me help with that,” Richie says, and before Eddie can protest, Richie is just casually putting his hand on his burned skin. It stings for a moment, but then the pain is gone, and when Richie removes his hand, the burn is gone, too. “Magic is real, or whatever.”

Eddie stretches his leg, feeling warm, inside and out. Maybe it’s the hypothermia setting in, he thinks. “Thanks. I’m… I’ll think about it. The being Santa thing.” He stands up, and holds a hand out to Richie, who smiles as he takes it. “I have a life here, ya know? I am scared about it changing. It took me forever just to divorce my wife because I was scared of… well, this, actually.” He gestures to the entirety of his shack house. “Just things being different. I have the way I like things, and when things are too different, it feels wrong, even if I know logically that I’ll get used to it. And I’m not heartless, I don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s sadness, let alone hundreds of millions of kids. But it’s still a lot.”

Richie nods, looking at the house, and around the place, like he’s appraising it. Eddie accepts the hand that Richie holds out, hauling him up. “How about I work on it?” He offers. 

“What? Really? Why would you want to do that?” Eddie says, shocked, quickly leading the way inside as the wind picks up.

“Because I want to. Like I said, we should get to know each other. Even if we don’t get married, or whatever. Plus it’s just a nice thing to do,” Richie shrugs, closing the door behind them.

“Nice? Nice is making someone food, or telling them they look nice today, or something. It’s not fixing up their entire house for free,” Eddie says, stopping them outside the hallway cupboard. He hands Richie a broom and shovel, before heading back to the kitchen to clean up their mess.

“Dude, my dad was  _ Santa _ . I come from a long line of  _ Santa’s _ . All we do is give away things for free, because it’s a nice thing to do.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow as he puts paper towels on the coffee and milk. “You got me there,” he supposes.

“But you’ll have to pay for the materials and stuff. There is a limit to my magic. See? We’re already working together!” Richie says, sounding somewhat happy for the first time as he sweeps up the shattered remains of Eddie’s favourite mug and bowl.

He smiles up at Eddie, and Eddie smiles back, something aflutter within his heart.

*~.~*

The last few weeks living with Richie has been… interesting, to say the least. Richie’s staying in what was previously the study, now a room that he has poured a lot of love and creative energy into. The grumpy facade that Richie had had quickly melted away with the snow, once the New Year came around. Eddie couldn’t blame him, of course, the guy was mourning the loss of his father, and Eddie had been an ass himself, he knows that now.

After New Years, a quiet affair this year, with them just watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve on the TV while drinking beer and eating snacks, Richie asks Eddie something.

“I’m gonna start on the renovations, but I’m gonna need Ben’s help with the plans. He’s an architect when he’s not working at the North Pole, and not just the counselling and hot chocolate guy. Would it be okay if I invited him over?” Richie asks it tentatively, like he’s nervous about Eddie’s reaction.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. You don’t need to ask me if you want to invite anyone over. Although maybe don’t invite  _ a lot  _ of people over, I hate parties.”

“I don’t know enough people to throw a party, anyways. Is next weekend okay?”

Eddie nods as he gets up to throw their empty beer bottles out, and Richie takes out his phone to text him. They’re getting friendlier with each other, but Eddie still feels nervous at the idea of a friendship, let alone a relationship with him. Eddie’s trying, though, Richie seems like a cool guy, and during the moments when Eddie lets his walls down, they always end up laughing together. It’s early days, but it’s weighing on Eddie a bit that there are some things planned out already when he just wants to take his time.

Ben and Beverly arrive on Saturday. Richie and Ben had spent the day doing whatever they needed to do, taking measurements and photos and other stuff that confused Eddie, like what something tasted like on different parts of the property. It had been an interesting few minutes watching them take bites of blue cheese, stand in different spots and compare how it tasted to the previous position.Then there’s stuff about looking at the house and surrounding property through different coloured lenses, and while Eddie can guess that it’s  _ something _ to do with light, he has no idea what such a measurement would be needed for.

“Magic,” Richie tells Eddie later when he asks, and that’s all the reason he gives.

Eddie had spent most of his time with Beverly, the two of them getting along like a house on fire. They bonded over the fact that they were both divorced from not great people, had a mutual love of fine wine, fine food and fine men, though Eddie was still getting used to saying that out loud.

“I’m the one who proposed to Ben,” she says between sips of hot chocolate. “When I was with Tom, I hadn’t been allowed to make most of the decisions that affected me. And Ben understood that I needed that freedom. So I proposed to him, and we’ve been very happy for the last few decades.”

Eddie chokes on his hot chocolate. “Decades?” Bev looks mid thirties at the oldest. She just winks and gives a cheeky smile. “Ben’s seems like a really good guy,” he says, recovering.

“He is. One of the best,” she says, looking out the sliding door into the backyard to where Ben and Richie are talking. She smiles wistfully. “Richie is, too.”

Eddie looks out at Richie, and smiles too. “Yeah, he is.”

The end of the day came with the promise that Ben will do up some plans for Richie so he can get a move on with sprucing up the place. While Beverly and Richie are saying goodbye, Ben pulls Eddie aside.

“Hey, I’m just wondering where Richie’s dad fell? Richie and I want it to be the first thing that goes,” Ben says.

“Uh, yeah, it’s right over here,” Eddie replies, and he and Ben walk over to the spot on the side of the house.

“We’re gonna entirely replace this fence. Put in something much friendlier, a lot less dangerous.” Bill reaches out, wobbles the fence a bit, testing its give. “Who would put in such a garish fence, anyways? It’s an eyesore.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Eddie says, eyeing the fence with disdain.

And then the two prepare to leave, Eddie not sure how they’re supposed to be getting back to the North Pole without a… vehicle, or something. But then the two just open the front door, the wind picking up at just the worst moment, forcing Eddie to blink, and then they’ve disappeared. Richie walks back inside like it’s very commonplace for people to just disappear into the wind, and Eddie decides to not give it any more thought, either.

*~.~*

“I’ve always wanted to go to the beach,” Richie says absentmindedly, as he sketches out a beach scene onto his now white bedroom wall. Eddie sits at his desk, distracted by the way Richie is able to work in the cold with ease, with barely more than a turtleneck and some jeans to keep him warm. He’s got his unruly curls pulled back into a messy bun, his forehead creased as he concentrates on what he’s doing, occasionally looking down at his laptop where he’s got his reference picture.

“What?” Eddie says, realising he hadn’t heard what Richie said. Eddie looks instead down into his favourite coffee mug, magically repaired by Richie.

Richie stands up, looking over at Eddie. “I’ve always wanted to go to the beach,” he repeats. “My parents have taken me all over the world, but I’ve yet to have gone to a beach.”

“I’ll take you sometime,” Eddie says. “Not here, though. New York isn’t exactly known for its beaches. I’ll take you to California come summer, much prettier coastline.” Eddie just about balks at what he said. It kind of just tumbled out without much thought, it seems like something a  _ couple  _ would plan, and it scares him a bit, just how easy it came out.

“That sounds nice,” Richie says, smiling at Eddie before returning to his sketching.

Eddie smiles nervously back, and heads out before he can stick his foot further into his mouth.

The first thing to go once the snow dies down, as Ben said, was the metal spiked fence, soon replaced with a lovely picket fence right out of the American dream. Eddie notices the change as soon as he comes home one night, but doesn’t get much of a chance to look in the dark. 

Richie has usually made and had his dinner by that point, and sits on the couch watching The Office on the TV while Eddie eats beside him. It’s oddly domestic, and Eddie really likes it.

On the weekends they go to the local hardware store, with Richie getting Eddie’s opinion on paint colours, types of materials for different rooms of the house. Does he want a bathtub? A sliding door leading to the backyard? What kind of taps in the kitchen versus the bathroom?

“I don’t really care,” Eddie says, rolling his eyes as Richie holds up a faucet.

“Dude, it’s your house. You’re the one living in it, you gotta like what you’re looking at everyday,” Richie says, flinging the faucet back where it came from, it landing perfectly on its hook.

“I do like what I’m looking at every day,” Eddie says, looking directly at Richie. He only registers what he said when Richie snaps his head to look back at him, one side of his mouth upturned in a half smile. Eddie coughs, looking away, feeling himself blushing. “Whatever you like is fine, really.”

“Fine,  _ Eduardo _ . To the plants!”

“I don’t exactly have a green thumb,” Eddie tells Richie as he drags their cart along.

“Just a couple of small indoor ones for now, Eds, to oxygenate rooms,” Richie says, stopping the cart. “Look, aren’t these cute?” He holds up some ferns to Eddie’s face.

“There’s plenty of oxygen in the rooms,” Eddie mutters, taking one of the pots.

“Yeah, but- Look, just trust me, alright? Easier to care for than an animal, yeah? Just go with it, Eds.” Richie looks deep into his eyes, his blue ones twinkling in such a way that could be described as  _ merrily _ . 

They’ve only known each other about two months, but Eddie knows he would trust Richie with his life.

“ _ Fine _ ,” Eddie says, pretending to sound annoyed, and Richie smiles happily as he tucks away five small ferns into their cart. 

“One for each room,” Richie explains, and they’re off again, heading towards the paint. “What are your favourite colours, Eddie Spaghetti?”

“For the love of Santa, please just  _ Eddie _ .”

Richie pulls the cart and Eddie into the paint section. “Quick, tell me your favourite colours.”

“I don’t fucking know…” Eddie mutters, looking and feeling overwhelmed by the thousands of paint swatches.

“Don’t think too much about it, just say some that come to you,” Richie insists.

“Blue,” Eddie says, and Richie grabs some blue swatches. “Green.” Richie darts off again, several more swatches in his hand. “Uh, purple. Yellow. Red.”

“I’ll pick the shades if you want me to,” Richie says, and Eddie quickly nods. “I’ll come back for them later. You wanna head home? So many people here.”

Eddie nods again, having been too nervous to say he was uncomfortable and grateful to know that Richie had realised. “Yes, please.”

*~.~*

The next few months go by in a bit of a blur for Eddie. The divorce is dragging on, annoyingly, Myra taking her sweet time in signing the damn papers. Every week day he wakes up before Richie, leaving just as he does. Eddie starts leaving extra coffee in the pot, and he starts seeing Richie getting up just a bit earlier so he can see Richie’s appreciative smile on his face before he goes.

Eddie helps with painting on the weekends, painting the rooms with beautiful shades Richie had chosen. A heavenly blue in the bathroom. A lovely green in the bedrooms. A delicate purple in the living room. A pastel yellow in the kitchen. Richie chose the colours to paint the outside of the house, and they spent one memorable weekend painting red and white stripes that make the house look like a candy cane. Eddie lets him have it, and secretly loves it.

Eddie has no idea how Richie gets through all the work that needed doing single handedly, but one late Friday afternoon in April, it feels like everything is suddenly  _ done _ , and the house actually feels like a  _ home _ . It’s a feeling he hasn’t known since he was a kid.

He never put such effort into his marital home with Myra, and to be fair, neither did she. It was a place he had lived. It was warm, there was a comfortable bed, and food on the table, but there was never a lot of love. It was good, as a place to live, for many years, and had only soured in the last few. He hadn’t hated living with her, for the most part.

But Eddie loves coming  _ home  _ now. He loves pulling into the driveway after a long day at work and seeing the lights on. He loves hearing the sound of The Office playing on the TV and Richie laughing as he approaches the front door. He loves the smell of whatever Richie has cooked for dinner, still on the stove. He loves-

Eddie stops the thought before it finishes. He’s not ready for that thought to be finished. He just wants to concentrate on finishing his dinner, some chicken and pasta dish that is absolutely divine, holy shit.

Richie starts painting the beach on the wall in his room. Eddie catches him working on it one night, and spends a few silent minutes watching Richie working on a wave, looking down occasionally at the reference picture on his laptop. Then he shuffles a foot, causing a floorboard to creak, and Richie spins his head around, smiling up at Eddie.

Eddie loves bickering with Richie about it, and he can tell Richie loves bickering back, they do so with smiles on their faces. Sometimes there’s genuine annoyance when they argue, like the time Eddie realised that Richie didn’t always brush his teeth with toothpaste, would just stick the brush under the water and scrub, but it never lasts for long. Sometimes they argue for the sake of arguing, different opinions on shows, food and music making them flare up as they tried to convince the other they were right.

Over time, they just became best friends, and Eddie loves it. Eddie loves-

Eddie stops himself again. He’s not ready yet.

He goes to sleep that night, tucked into his much more comfortable bed, with its new sheets and blanket and pillows, and realises how lonely it is. There’s thoughts and feelings Eddie isn’t ready yet to deal with, but one of them is definitely that he would love going to sleep in the same bed as Richie.

*~.~*

In early May, with the weather warming up, Eddie invites his best friends, Stan and Patty, around for dinner and board games. He’s been meaning to invite them over for months, but their schedules just never lined up. But now they have, and now he can introduce Richie to them.

Eddie opens the door to a beaming and exciting looking Patty, and a stoic but amused looking Stan, whom Eddie guesses is trying not to laugh at the candy cane coloured exterior (Richie had surprised Eddie by also painting the picket fence).

“Eddie!” Patty says, opening her arms to engulf him in a hug. “Let’s never go so long without seeing each other again!” 

“Yeah, I missed you, too,” Eddie says, squeezing her back with similar intensity. They kiss each other's cheeks, and she heads off inside the house, looking around curiously.

“Eddie,” Stan says, and there’s a moment of them just smiling at each other before they go in for a hug. “What the fuck is with your house?” He whispers into Eddie’s ear.

“Yeah, about that…” Eddie says as they break apart. 

“Hi! I’m Richie!” Richie says, introducing himself as Patty gets to the living room.

“Patty,” Patty replies, giving Richie the same hug she gave Eddie.

“And you must be Stan,” Richie says when she lets go, grabbing hold of Stan’s hand before he can reply.

Patty gives Eddie a look,  _ who is he and why is he here _ ? Yeah, Eddie had forgotten to mention that he’s got a roommate. Stan gives Eddie the side eye, before giving Richie a curt smile in return.

“I am,” Stan says, shaking Richie’s hand. “We brought wine. Glasses?”

“Yeah, kitchen’s over here,” Eddie says, leaving Richie to get acquainted with Patty.

Stan looks around the kitchen, Eddie knowing he’s looking for anything to pick at, but finds nothing. Eddie grabs glasses from the cupboard, starts pouring the wine.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Stan asks quietly.

“Right to the point,” Eddie replies. “No, he’s a roommate, I guess. A friend.” Eddie rolls his eyes as Stan raises an eyebrow, and gives him two filled glasses.

The evening goes splendidly. Eddie made the chicken and pasta thing that Richie had done a little while ago. The wine flows, with lots of talking and laughter, Richie and Stan and Patty getting along famously. 

Stan and Patty’s was the place he would go to when things weren’t so good with Myra. They even let him crash on their couch for a couple of months while he was looking for somewhere more permanent to stay. Eddie’s been meaning to repay them back for a long while, and he’s happy he can finally do so now, with a good evening together. They play Cluedo, Cards Against Humanity, and a few indie games that Stan and Patty brought.

When the evening comes to a close, Richie is showing Patty the beach he painted in his room, while Eddie and Stan get dessert and coffee ready in the kitchen. Richie’s made tiramisu, and it looks absolutely delicious.

“You both like each other,” Stan says.

“Jesus Christ, Stan,” Eddie mumbles, the cake server dropping from his hand and clattering on the counter.

“I’ve been looking at how you two look at each other all night. You like each other,” Stan tells him, downing the rest of his wine. “It’s sickening, how sweet it is.”

“It’s not like that,” Eddie says, straightening up as Richie and Patty return to the lounge room.

“I forgot to ask you guys,” Patty says as she sits down, tucking into her tiramisu after Stan hands her a plate. “How do you guys know each other? Great tiramisu, by the way, Richie, oh my god.”

Eddie panics as Richie starts speaking. He doesn’t know how to say he’s fucking Santa now. He’d forgotten about it, honestly, it hadn’t come up in months. Stan and Patty are going to think he’s insane. They’re going to think  _ Richie’s  _ insane. Oh no.

“Eddie accidentally killed-”

“Killed his battery! I pulled over because he needed some help jump starting his car, but I accidentally killed it, instead. I drove him home, and he mentioned he was looking to move to somewhere cheaper, and I don’t mind having a roommate, so here he is.” Eddie looks nervously around the room, then buries his face in his coffee mug to avoid Richie’s face.

“Yeah. Eddie accidentally killed my car battery,” Richie says, sounding disappointed.

Eddie hates himself. He didn’t want to hurt Richie. But Stan and Patty can’t know the truth, either.

The evening ends a little awkwardly, the atmosphere thrown off. They all finish their coffee and cake, and then Stan and Patty head off, a second round of hugs going around as they say goodnight.

Eddie and Richie do the dishes in awkward silence, Richie handing over clean dishes for Eddie to rinse and dry. He hands over the soapy things with a little too much force, flinging suds all over Eddie.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says.

“Hm.”

“It’s just… Do you realise how crazy it would sound if I said I was the new Santa, and I accidentally killed the previous Santa? That there’s actually a Santa in the first place, and there’s actually a North Pole with elves and magic and shit? They’d send me to a mental hospital, Richie. I can’t tell them.”

Richie shoves the last plate into Eddie’s chest, the angry look in his eyes stopping Eddie and his breath still. He pulls the stopper out of the sink, and takes off his gloves, throwing them down.

“Fine. Whatever. It’s all one big secret, I guess. Everything about me has to be a secret, does it? Do I have to come up with a whole other life story if I want to fit into yours, Eddie?”

“No! That’s not what I mean-”

“But that’s exactly what you’re asking me to do! That’s exactly what you meant when you lied to your best friends about me! I’m not gonna do it, Eddie! I’m not going to change anything about me or my history for you. I loved my dad, and I loved that he was Santa. I’m not going to be something you’re ashamed about, because I’m not ashamed of anything about myself. Goodnight.” 

Richie storms off, slamming his bedroom door shut.

Eddie stands in the kitchen for a few more moments, stunned, the scene playing out in his head again and again. Then he puts the dishes and leftovers away, and goes to bed.

Richie isn’t in his room when Eddie goes to check on him the next morning. He’s not in the bathroom, no answer coming after Eddie gingerly knocks on the door and calls for him. He’s not in the living room eating breakfast. He’s not in the kitchen. He’s not outside in the garden.

He’s not anywhere.

Eddie walks around the house and feels empty. Richie had filled this house with a lot of joy and… love. And now it just feels hollow. 

There’s nothing without Richie here.

*~.~*

Eddie spends nearly all of June in a daze. Every morning he gets up, gets ready, and makes extra coffee for Richie out of habit. He spends his drives home at night looking forward to seeing Richie and watching The Office for the hundredth time with him.

But the lights are off every night. There’s no dinner in the oven being kept warm. The house is silent. The coffee from the morning is a gross sludge at the bottom of the jar. He makes himself sandwiches for dinner, not feeling like he’s worth the effort of doing much more. 

Eddie spends most of his time alone, and he doesn’t like it. He misses Richie.

“I love you, Richie,” Eddie finally admits to himself, as he sits down on Richie’s made bed. He grabs the sand globe from the bedside table, holding it in his hands. “I know I fucked up. I’m sorry, Richie.” He wipes at his eyes as he begins to cry. “Fuck. I gotta bring you home. Where’d you go?”

Eddie looks more carefully down at the sand globe, and sees a couple of figures laying on the beach. They both look suspiciously like Richie and himself. And then he looks up at the beach painting on the wall, a cove with palm trees, purple and yellow flowers and green grass running into the sand, where the water laps onto the shore. The longer Eddie looks at it, the more it comes to life, the waves coming in to crash on the beach, the palm trees, flowers and grass blowing into the wind. He can actually feel the breeze on his face, the saltwater stinging his eyes.

Eddie looks away, knowing that’s where Richie has gone. He pulls out his phone so he can find the picture Richie used. It takes about half an hour, but once he does, a place called La Jolla Cove in San Diego, he books a seat on the next flight to California.

*~.~*

The drive down to La Jolla Cove would have been nice, if the drive hadn’t taken nearly an hour rather than the twenty minutes it was supposed to be, thanks to traffic. Eddie had hastily packed a bag, then realised his flight wasn’t for another eight hours, so he had carefully repacked it with the things he  _ actually _ needed.

Now he’s on the beach, and it’s crowded as hell, and Eddie can’t tell if Richie is even here. It looks just like the painting Richie did of it, minus the people. Eddie heads down into the throng of people, already uncomfortable and scared that Richie isn’t here, and that he won’t find him. Is he in the water? On the sand? Maybe he’s not even here at all?

Eddie stops somewhere in the middle, and turns on the spot, feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people and sound and  _ smell _ , holy shit it smells like  _ shit.  _ Eddie just wants Richie beside him, holding his hand and telling him he’ll be okay. Eddie covers his ears, feeling like a meltdown is imminent.

“Richie!” He shouts over the noise. He wants to find Richie more than he’s uncomfortable with the attention. “RICHIE!”

There’s just the sound of the crowd for a long, drawn out moment, then-

“Eds?!”

Eddie whips around to where he heard Richie’s voice, and sees him at the back of some people doing yoga. Richie’s standing on his own mat, wearing festive red and green shorts with holly on them, and Eddie runs over, stopping short of just hugging him.

“Eddie! What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry!” Eddie says quickly.

“What-”

“I’m sorry, I should have never said what I said. I was scared, still am scared, but I promise to work on it, okay? Being the new Santa isn’t something I want to be ashamed about.  _ You  _ are not something I want to be ashamed about, okay? I’ll tell Stan and Patty. I’ll shout it to everyone here!”

Eddie just blurts it all out, and Richie listens, the slightest hint of a smile on his face, then a wicked one grows.

“Go on, then!” He prompts.

“What?”

“Shout it out! Tell everyone here that you’re Santa. Go on.” Richie raises his arms, indicating to the crowd on the beach.

“I’m… I’m Santa,” Eddie manages, barely above a talking level. He’s nervous, and he hopes Richie can see that.

“Louder.”   
  
“I’m Santa!” A few people turn their heads, but it’s not enough for Richie’s smirk.

“I still couldn’t hear that, Eds.”

“I’M SANTA!” The shout hurts Eddie’s voice, but it gathers enough people’s attention, heads turning and Eddie’s face burning with embarrassment. But he keeps looking at Richie, who appears satisfied.

“Alright, crazy, jeez,” Richie says, the smile on his face wide.

“I love you, Richie. You were gone for a month and I missed you every single second. I felt so empty while you were gone,” Eddie says, stepping a little closer towards him.

Richie closes the gap between them, hands closing around Eddie’s jaw as he leans down for a kiss. Eddie pulls Richie in closer, arms wrapping around his torso. He barely registers the few cheers and wolf whistles they get, he’s filled with so much happiness right now. Richie wraps his arms around the top of Eddie’s shoulders, kissing his cheek and squeezing back just as tight.

“Please come home, Richie,” Eddie whispered, his chin resting on Richie’s shoulder.   


“Of course, you dummy,” Richie said back, kissing Eddie’s cheek again. “I’m gonna finish my yoga class, though, okay?”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, of course. I’ll go grab us some lunch.”

Richie starts walking back to his mat, then comes back, grabbing Eddie’s hand. “I love you, too,” he says, giving Eddie another quick peck on the lips.

Eddie’s smiling the whole afternoon.

*~.~*

They spend the next few days hanging out at a quiet spot on the beach and staying in the place Richie had found, a nice little apartment with a view of the waterfront. It’s amazing, and Eddie loves every single second of it.

They spend lazy mornings in bed just kissing. They get brunch at a different place every day, and spend lazy afternoons on the beach, followed by a leisurely stroll back home where they order dinner, and lounge about on the very comfortable sofa, feeding each other. It’s an absolutely  _ sublime _ time, and Eddie never wants it to end.

Alas, it does though, with the end of the week coming, and Eddie needing to go back to work, having used up all his sick days. But he leaves La Jolla dizzyingly happy, with Richie by his side and their relationship  _ thoroughly  _ consummated.

“How’d you get here so fast?” Eddie asks as they’re packing their bags.

“Magic,” Richie says with a shrug, copying Eddie’s folding technique. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Is that how you got this amazing place?” He gets some suggestive eyebrows in return. “Is that how we’re getting home?” Richie had told him not to purchase any plane tickets earlier.

“Yes,” Richie says simply, and he doesn’t elaborate.

They finish packing their bags, and Eddie finishes saying his goodbyes to the beautiful place.

“Not going to miss the smell, though,” he says as he looks out the window.

“Fuck no, I’m not gonna miss smelling all that shit in the air,” Richie replies, pulling his backpack on. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Eddie turns from the window, smiling at Richie. He walks over, pulling him down for a kiss. “How’s this work?”

“Well, Eddie my love, all you have to do is just walk over to the front door there and open it.” Richie gestures to the front door, which Eddie looks skeptically at.

“Just open it?”

“Just open it,” Richie reiterates, the smugness of knowing something that Eddie doesn’t clear within his voice..

Eddie raises an eyebrow, shrugging on his bag. He walks over, feeling nervous, but he trusts Richie. He reaches out, hesitantly putting his hand on the knob, expecting static electricity or something, and opens the door.

And promptly closes it again.

“No! Nope, nu-uh,  _ no _ .” He paces back into the room, while Richie laughs at his reaction. Eddie puts his head between his knees, feeling nauseous. “ _ That’s not how the universe works, what the fuck, Richie! _ ”

“Don’t worry about it,” Richie manages. “I sure don’t.”

“What the fuck is  _ my  _ hallway doing there, Richie! That’s on the other side of the country! What the fuck!”

“Just accept the simple explanation, Eddie. It’s  _ magic _ .” Richie walks over, helping Eddie up. “Come on, Eds, breathe.”

“What’s the complicated explanation?  _ I need to know, Richard _ ,” Eddie glares. He tries to keep his breathing under control, but he’s quickly headed for another meltdown.

Richie rolls his eyes. “That actually requires a lot of math that I don’t quite understand myself. But my dad explained it to me like this, watch,” he grabs a notepad from the nearby table, ripping off a sheet of paper, and scribbles on two dots on opposite sides. “So you got one point of space-time here, let's call that your house, and then you got another point, that’s here. Normally you’d go the long way, like you did, but I went the short way.”

“What the fuck is the short way?” Eddie asks, scared.

Richie folds the paper so that the two dots meet. “A wormhole, ya know, like Stephen King?”

“Hawking.”

“Whatever. Or as I like to call it,  _ magic _ . So don’t worry about it, Eds. Come on, let's go!”

Richie drops the paper back on the table, and pulls Eddie back to the door. He holds Eddie’s hand as they step through back to his house, and Eddie full on  _ shudders _ as he crosses the threshold. 

Eddie doesn’t know how to describe it, travelling from one side of the country to the other in a single step, but after it he’s quickly falling on his knees and vomiting his guts on the floor from what feels like an immense g-force rolling through his body, like a big wave crashing on him on the beach.

“ _ Oh my god _ ,” he manages, heaving again.

“Yeah, you’ll get used to that,” Richie reassures him, as Eddie looks around, confused. “Probably shoulda aimed for the bathroom, though, my bad.” He helps Eddie to his feet, who feels like he’s incredibly drunk and ready to pass out. 

“Come on, we can sleep it off.” Richie puts one of Eddie’s arms around his shoulders, and hauls him down the corridor to their bedroom, avoiding the vomit.

“I never want to do that again,” Eddie slurs, as Richie drops him on his bed.

“Oh, honey,” Richie says, wiping Eddie’s sweaty, pale brow. “You’re gonna be doing that for the rest of your life.” He grins, and Eddie groans, rolling away.

“Nope! I give up! Never gonna be Santa!” Eddie doesn’t mean it, of course, and Richie knows, chuckling.

“I’m gonna go mop up your vomit, okay? And then we’ll sleep until tomorrow.” Richie leans down, kissing Eddie on his cheek.

Eddie stares at Richie’s back grumpily as he leaves, but holds on to him tightly when he slips back in underneath the covers as he tries to reassess what gravity feels like.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: brief emetophobia somewhere around the middle.

“Does this mean we’re engaged now?”

They’re cuddling in bed on a Saturday morning, watching the news on Eddie’s laptop when he asks. Eddie’s snuggled into Richie’s side, an arm thrown around his middle. He looks up at Richie, who shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee.

“I don’t know. Why ya asking?”

“Because Bill said we had to get married. Do we need to do that before Christmas? Isn’t there like, a time limit or something, I can’t remember what Bill said.”

“There is that handfasting thing we gotta do, for the magical reasons, but we can do the marriage thing later on our own terms, if that’s something you wanna do.” Richie sets aside his mug as Eddie sits up.

“Do  _ you  _ wanna get engaged? Like, we’re not moving too fast if we get engaged now?”

Richie shrugs again. “Sure, it’d be fast, but if it’s right for us, then it’s right for us. Do you wanna get engaged, Eddie?”

Eddie shuffles a little closer to Richie, playing with the hair on Richie’s arm, feeling embarrassed as he doesn’t look Richie in the face. “I don’t know. I might wanna be engaged if you wanna be engaged.”

“Then we’re engaged!” Richie says, slamming the laptop shut and pulling Eddie down into a hug.

“Jesus Christ, okay then.” Eddie leans down and gives Richie a quick kiss, then pulls back. “Dude, we just proposed to each other!”   
  
“Fuck yeah, we did!” Richie peppers the entirety of Eddie’s face with kisses, despite Eddie trying to push him off. “I love you, Eddie.”   
  
“I love you, too, Richie.” Eddie gives him one last kiss, then jumps out of bed, searching around for his underwear. “Come on, we got a lot to organise! Get your butt out of bed!”

“Very romantic, Eds. You love this butt.”

“Yes I do, and I don’t want to have to kick it to make it get it out of bed.” Eddie gives Richie a pointed look. “I know you wanted a lazy day, but come on, I’m already too excited!”

Richie finally gets up, leaning over the bed so he can grab Eddie’s underwear and throw it in is his face, grinning.

*~.~*

They both decide to surprise each other with the engagement rings, and agree to make a show of proposing to each other at Eddie’s birthday party in September. It gives Eddie plenty of time to think up a design and metals for Richie’s ring, as he never considered himself to be very creative, but he wants to do this right for Richie.

It takes quite a while, but eventually Eddie settles on a tungsten band, with a lighter silver engraving of snowflakes. He loves looking at it, and he hopes Richie will, too.

As those from the North Pole start arriving for the party, Eddie pulls Richie aside into their bedroom.

“I’m gonna tell Stan and Patty about me being Santa tonight,” Eddie promises. Richie smiles down at him. “I know it took me a while, but I didn’t forget what either of us said. I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m ashamed of you.”

Richie gives Eddie a kiss, hugging him. “Love you, Spaghetti.”

Eddie sighs and smiles, hugging Richie back tighter. “Love you, too, Rich.”

The doorbell rings, the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock” playing throughout the house, and they break apart.

“That’ll be Stan and Patty,” Eddie says, grabbing Richie’s hand to pull him along.

“Ah, the last of our honoured guests!”

Maggie, Bill, Georgie, Mike, Ben and Bev have already gathered in the living room, with Stan and Patty being the last to arrive. They’re all introduced, the conversation and wine is flowing, everyone getting along like a house on fire. Soon, Eddie has drained all the wine from his glass, and he and Richie share a look as he nervously taps on his glass.

“Could I have everyone’s attention please?” The conversation dies down quickly, and Eddie suddenly has every pair of eyes in the room on him. None of them are judging him, he can feel that, but it’s still nerve wracking. He clears his throat. “I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for coming tonight. It really means a lot to celebrate my birthday with so many people that I love.”

“Hear, hear!” Everyone says, raising their glasses.

“And on the subject of people I love, there’s one person in particular I’d like to say something to. Richie, could you join me here for a moment, please?” Eddie and Richie have rehearsed this moment, and Richie joins him with a smile.

“Anything for you, Eddie dear,” he says, playing dumb as their guests already seem to have guessed what’s happening.

Eddie reaches out, holding Richie’s hand for support. “Richie, I know we’ve only known each other for less than a year, but I’ve already come to love you so much more than I ever thought I could love someone. And I know it seems fast, but this feels like the right thing to do.”   
  
For the second time in his life, Eddie drops to one knee. For the first time in his life, it really does feel like the right thing to do. He hears gasps from his friends, but he only has eyes for Richie. Eddie reaches into a pocket, producing the ring box, and opens it up for Richie to see. They can’t contain their smiles as Richie looks at the ring for the first time.

“Richie, will you marry me?”

There’s silence from Richie as he looks down at the ring. Richie drops Eddie’s hand, both going to his mouth in surprise. He takes himself a moment to compose himself, as Richie drops his smile.

“Eddie, I- I can’t,” and with that, Richie runs from the room. All part of the plan.

Eddie watches him go, trying his best to feign sadness and shock, though he knows Richie is the better actor. Patty is up with him in an instant, hugging him.

“Oh my  _ god,  _ Eddie,” she whispers, her voice trembling.

Eddie can see Bev smirking behind her wine glass. She knows what’s up. Everyone else looks shocked, unsure of what to do, looking around each other.

But then Richie comes back, a ring box in his hand, and there are further gasps from everyone. Patty backs away as Richie stands before Eddie, and gets down on one knee, too, opening up the box. Eddie looks down onto the simple but beautiful platinum band, smiling again.

“Eddie, damn it, why’d ya have to beat me to the punch? There’s no one else I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Will you marry me, too?”

“Of course, you idiot,” Eddie says, and pulls Richie up so they can kiss and exchange rings. Richie looks very happy with his ring, and Eddie notices an  _ R+E  _ engraving on the inside of his.

“We said yes!” Richie announces, and they get plenty of claps and cheers. Everyone is up on their feet, hugging them and offering congratulations.

“Oh, Eddie!” Maggie says, holding his face in her hands. “I couldn’t ask for a better man for my son,” she tells him. Eddie feels like he’s about to cry at her words, and quickly pulls her in for a hug to cover it.

“I love him so much, Maggie. We’re going to take very good care of each other,” he assures her.

“I know.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek, and smiles, before going to her son.

Once the excitement of everything starts to die down, Eddie knows he needs to continue. Needs to tell Stan and Patty the truth about everything.

“So after that little show-” Eddie starts.

“Knew it!” Beverly says, and everyone laughs.

“Yeah, that was all planned. We were already kinda engaged, but we still wanted to propose and surprise each other and you guys with our rings.”

“Yeah, this little bitch has snowflakes on it!” Richie says proudly, holding his hand up.

“Anyway, there was something else I kinda need to share,” Eddie says, and he feels his anxiety in his throat. “With Stan and Patty specifically.”

Stan raises an eyebrow and Patty perks up from her seat on the couch.

“What is it, Eddie?” She asks.

“So, uh, marrying Richie comes with some traditions I need to follow. There’s a long line of men I’ll be following in the footsteps of before me, including Richie’s father, in taking up the mantle of Santa Claus. Once a year I’ll need to put on a red suit, fly in a sleigh pulled by reindeer and deliver presents to hundreds of millions of children around the world. Bill, Ben, Beverly, Georgie and Mike are all elves from the North Pole, and they all help in that process.”

It’s silent for a few moments as Stan and Patty take in the news. Everyone else in the room looks at them expectantly, waiting for their reaction.

“Eddie, you can’t be serious,” Stan says eventually. “You’re Santa? Really? They can’t be elves-”   
  
Beverly clears her throat, and when Stan and Patty turn their heads, she sweeps her hair behind her ear, revealing its point. Bill does the same with his hair, while the rest pull their party hats off. Five pairs of pointy ears for the two to see.

“I stand corrected,” Stan says.

“Eddie, we’ll always love and support you. Also being friends with Santa is very cool!” Patty smiles. “I’m curious about what it feels like! But it’s probably rude to ask, isn’t it? Probably feels exactly the same as mine, just without the point!”

Eddie feels very relieved indeed, and giggles with Stan at Patty’s tipsy ramblings, and laugh even harder when Ben offers his ear to be touched.

“Oh, it’s soft, and boney! Oh, it’s just like my ear…”

*~.~*

They decide on Thanksgiving for their “Santa Energy Transference Ceremony” thing (Eddie wonders why there isn’t a better name for it), so Eddie can have time to go through the Santa training in the lead up to Christmas. Eddie’s saved all his vacation time during the year, as well as his remaining sick days, so he has the full month to just train, do the thing and then relax.

The morning before Thanksgiving, Eddie and Richie head to Stan and Patty’s so they can all go up to the North Pole together. After coming back from California, Eddie had been sick for most of the day, so he wants to make sure Stan and Patty have plenty of time to recover.

Patty looks very excited when they arrive. Stan just stands behind her, reserved as ever.

“Do you have a private jet or something?” Patty guesses. Eddie hasn’t told her how they’re getting to the North Pole.

“Nope,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “I wish, though. Not marrying into money, which is a shame.”

“Are we going by car, and then boat?” She guesses again.

“Nu-uh,” says Richie. “Make sure you’re both bundled up, the North Pole is very cold this time of year.”   
  
“It’s cold all year,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “But yeah, get those scarves and gloves and coats on.”   
  
Patty does as she’s asked quickly, jogging on the spot and getting impatient while Stan takes his time. “Come on, come on, come on! Stan, you old man, can you go any faster?”

“That’s what she said,” Richie says, earning himself a groan and a stern look from Stan.

Stan gets there in the end, making sure every finger is snuggly fit inside his gloves, then he looks at Richie and Eddie. “So how are we  _ really  _ getting there?”

“Magic,” Richie says with a wink, going to the front door.

“ _ Really _ ?” Patty and Stan say at the same time, though with drastically different tones. Patty’s face lights up and she claps her hands, very eager to see what Richie means. Stan just looks skeptical. Eddie looks at them knowingly, a smile on his face.

“Yep, really. Just step through the door, and we’ll be there.”

Stan looks at Eddie, his eyebrow raised. “Eddie, he’s crazy.”

“He’s really not, I promise,” Eddie replies. When Stan still doesn’t let up, Eddie groans. “Just trust me. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Richie partially opens the door, a cold breeze blowing through. “Yeah, trust us! Would Eddie lie to you?”

Stan’s face softened. He does trust Eddie, he does know Eddie wouldn’t lie to him. He nods, and indicates for Patty to go. “Ladies first.”   
  
Patty smiles at him, giving his cheek a kiss, then hurries through the door. Stan follows. Eddie and Richie share a look, and then a kiss, before Eddie follows after that.

Eddie had a thought that maybe his second time through would be easier. He was expecting to just roll right though, have a good laugh at seeing Patty and Stan on the floor, vomit all over themselves and stumbling around like they’re blind drunk. But instead he’s right on the floor with them, and he has vomit all over himself, too.

“ _ Richie _ ,” he whines, looking up at the spinning image of his grinning husband-to-be. “I thought you said I was going to get used to it!”

“With time, Eddie my love, with time,” he says, scooping him off the floor. Patty and Stan are attended to by Ben and Bev, and they’re all helped to the guest rooms.

*~.~*

It only takes a few hours this time to recover from the trip this time, and Eddie thinks it might be due to the atmosphere and magic of the North Pole. There’s just a general sense of excitement and wonder, now that it’s the final month before Christmas. There’s so much energy coming from everyone, and Eddie can feel all of it, like a low hum in his ears. He’s never had a smile on his face for so long.

Elves are bustling all over the place, making sure all the gifts are made, and then the presents are wrapped and looking perfect. Supplies are being delivered all over the place, the reindeer are roaming around like free range chickens by themselves. Eddie watches Patty pat one, Comet, he thinks, in awe.

Mike gives Eddie the rundown on what the ceremony will be on Thanksgiving morning.

“It’s basically a handfasting ceremony,” Mike explains. “You and Richie join hands, some tinsel is wrapped around them, Bill says a few words, you and Richie say some vows, and the magic of Santa is passed on to you.”   
  
“That simple, huh?” Eddie says, feeling a little nervous.

“That simple. You know, if you’re having second thoughts, you don’t have to go through with this,” Mike reassures. “No one would blame you. It’s an awful big thing to take on.”

“No, no second thoughts. Just a little anxious, pre-handfasting jitters.” Eddie smiles at Mike, and accepts his hug. “Do I need to write my own vows?”

“You can if you want, but Bill also has some prepared that you can just repeat,” Mike says.

“I’ll try to think of my own. Richie’s gonna write his own, I know it. Oh, those are going to be some good vows, how am I supposed to match them? Shirt, I should probably get started on them, I’ve only got a few hours. Mike, why didn’t someone tell me sooner?” Eddie goes to rush off in a panic, but Mike stops him, a hand on his shoulder.

“Lets go get some of Ben’s hot chocolate, okay? That always helps calm me down, helps inspire me. Come on, I know where Richie will be, Ben and Georgie run a small cafe together in the centre of town, we can have some lunch.” Mike starts towards the door leading out of Santa’s office.

“Lunch sounds good,” Eddie says, following Mike out.

Once they get to the cafe and leave the hustle and bustle of the busy North Pole outside, Eddie notices that it’s practically silent in the cafe. He assumes it’s magic once again, and is thankful for the lack of noise. He spots Richie and the rest of their party towards the back, and Eddie shuffles through the tables to get to them, sitting beside Richie in a booth.

Richie looks up from a notepad he’s writing on, quickly turning it over so Eddie doesn’t see what he’s working on.

“What’s up, hot stuff? I think I see some snow melting out there just because you walked by it,” Richie says.

“That’s global warming, Rich,” Eddie retorts, but he still can’t help but smile. “You working on your vows?”

“Yep. You’re not allowed to see ‘em, though.” Richie pushes the notepad away.

“Don’t want to. Can I have some paper, though? Need to work on mine, too.”

“Sure thing, Spaghetti,” Richie says with a smile, grabbing the notepad back so he can rip some sheets off. “And a pen,” he reaches into a pocket, and produces a pen, handing it to Eddie.

It takes some time, good food and drink, and reassurance from Richie not to overthink it, just write down what comes to mind, but Eddie soon writes something he’s happy with. He clinks his mug of hot chocolate with everyone else's, and then he leaves with Beverly to get ready.

“See you soon, honey!” Richie calls, and then Eddie’s ears are filled with all the noise of the town square.

Bev takes Eddie back to his and Richie’s room, and for the first time he looks upon  _ his  _ suit. He’d forgotten that it would be here waiting for him when he got back, and now he just looks upon it with awe. It’s a dark, cherry red suit, with the typical white trim, but a softer eggshell hue. Heavy black boots sit nearby, as does his hat, sitting atop the nearby chest of drawers.

“Bev,” Eddie breathes, reaching out to touch it, but pauses. “It’s beautiful. May I?”

“It’s yours,” Beverly reminds him, smiling. “I’ll leave you two to get acquainted.”

She leaves him alone, and Eddie just has to  _ stare _ at the suit for a few moments, taking it in. 

He’s really doing this. Eddie’s really going to be Santa. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. He almost feels like he’s vibrating with all the energy he’s feeling. He never thought in his life that something like this would happen to anyone, let alone him. 

Santa is real! And Eddie gets to be him! It’s an insane thought.

Eddie slowly puts the suit on with reverence. He starts with the undershirt, a soft eggshell white, like the trim, and then puts the red pants and suspenders on after that. Next come the shoes, black and leather-like, very heavy and stable. Then the coat, the beautiful cherry-red that suits him well. And finally the hat, sitting it on top of his head.

Eddie looks at himself in the mirror, and it’s an odd feeling being in his Santa suit, but it also feels  _ right _ . He smiles at himself as he straightens things out, putting the folded piece of paper with his vows written on them in a pocket, then calls for Bev to come back in.

“Bev! I’m ready!”

She puts her hands to her mouth as she takes in the sight, Eddie even twirling a bit for her.

“I say this every time, but I really outdid myself. This is my favourite suit! It looks absolutely perfect on you, Eddie! Richie’s going to love it!” Still, she fusses over a few little things, making it really is absolutely perfect.

“And the kids. The kids are going to love it, too,” Eddie says.

“Eddie, the kids are never going to see the suit, they’ll be asleep. Well, they should be, anyways. The suit is for you,  _ Santa _ , a uniform. Also for Mrs, well,  _ Mister _ Claus.” She stops her fussing, finally happy with her work. “Alright. You’re all set. Oh, Eddie, you look so handsome!”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, feeling sheepish.

“Come on,” she says, indicating with her head towards the door. “The ceremony’s about to start.”

“I’m nervous,” Eddie confesses. “It feels like I’m about to get married. God, I could throw up again.”

“Don’t you dare, that suit is a work of art,” Beverly playfully chastises. “You kind of are getting married. You’re entering the Santa line by handfasting with Richie.”

She leads him back outside, where Eddie thinks every elf in the North Pole has gathered in the town centre. He stops before he goes outside, and Beverly hangs back with him.

“No one said I had to do this in front of a crowd. I get real bad stage fright.”

“Eddie,” Bev says calmly, hand rubbing up and down his arm. “You’re doing this for all the children in the world. You’re doing this for Richie. You’re doing this for  _ you _ . You can do this!”

Eddie nods. “I can do this.”

“You love Richie.”   
  
“I love Richie.”

“You only have to do this once, and you’re going to be so glad you did this! You’re braver than you think.”

“I’m braver than I think,” Eddie repeats, and they smile together.

“You good to go?” She asks, hand on the door.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Then let's go.”

Beverly pushes the two doors open, and silence falls as everyone turns to stare. Eddie feels like a big red beacon as he follows Beverly gingerly down the front steps. He looks around for Richie, but the elves conveniently part and make a clear pathway, where Eddie can see Richie at the end. He looks dashing in his regular white suit, a cherry red cloak sitting on his shoulders.

Eddie starts making his way down the makeshift aisle, nodding and smiling at the elves, feeling awkward as he walks by. The closer he gets to Richie, the more there’s a feeling of static electricity in the air, the humming increasing. Eddie instinctively knows it’s the magic of Christmas coming alive, getting ready to transfer into him.

Eddie finds his eyes being drawn to and staying on Richie the closer he gets. He’s never felt happier in his life. He gets to the end, Richie reaching out to grab his hand, squeezing it, and Eddie feels every single bit of the joy and peace emanating from him, and it feels like Eddie’s own.

“Hi,” Eddie says, feeling embarrassed.

“Hi,” Richie repeats, smiling at him, and it makes Eddie feel better.

“Welcome everyone,” Mike says loudly, the one performing the ceremony. “Today we are gathered to join Eddie into the Santa line. I know we are all very excited, even if we still mourn the passing of Wentworth. But I’ve gotten to know Eddie over the past year, and I can assure everyone that he is more than capable of being the new Santa. I’ve also seen the love that has come to grow and be shared by Eddie and Richie, and I know truly that the Santa lineage will live on and be nurtured by these two. Eddie, Richie, please take each other’s hands.”

That’s something Eddie’s been eager for. Holding hands with Richie always helps calm him down in anxiety-inducing situations. They hold each other's hands, and smile at each other all the way.

Bill comes forward, a dark, wooden case in his hands, which Mike opens, revealing four strands of blue, green, red and gold tinsel.

“These strands of tinsel hold different meanings. The first, gold, represents the happiness and joy you create and share between each other and the world.” Mike drapes the tinsel over Eddie and Richie’s hands.

“Second, red for the love and trust you create and share between each other and the world. Green for empathy and peace, the care you have for yourself and others, and how you strive to share that with the world. And finally blue for hope, hope for each other, hope for the world and hope that every day there is a little more of happiness, joy, love, trust, empathy and peace.”

Mike drapes each tinsel strand across Eddie and Richie’s joined hands as he explains each one, and then ties them together.

“I tie this tinsel together to represent your lives now tied together. From this moment you are united. You share your happiness, your love, your empathy and peace and hope. And, of course, you share the magic of Christmas.”

Eddie feels more and more magic flowing into him from Richie, and it feels good. He can’t stop smiling, and neither can Richie.

“Are there any vows you’d like to share?” Mike asks.

Richie clears his throat, and Eddie feels relieved at not having to go first.

“Eddie: I know we had a bit of a rough start. It took awhile for us to get along, but once we did, we’ve had the best friendship I’ve ever had. You just get me, dude. I never really understood what people meant when they said it was like they’d known them their whole life when they talked about a partner. But I do now. I do with you.” Richie pauses, wiping at his face. “There was something my father told me, right before he died and after you scared him off your roof.”

“Accidentally,” Eddie says, and it gains a laugh from Richie and the crowd around them.

“ _ Accidentally _ , whatever. I always knew the story of how he and my mom met, very similar to ours, now that I think about it. Mom had gone with her dad on his last ride, and dad also accidentally scared Santa off his roof. Anyways, he told me that this was always meant to happen, Eds. He told me not to stay angry or sad for too long, because that would just mean less time feeling the good things. Like learning to love and be happy with you. I love you, Eds, and I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. And that’s my vow, Eds, to always love and be happy with you.”   
  
“Holy shirt, Rich,” Eddie manages, crying now as well. “How in the heck am I meant to top that?”

“He already does, if you know what I mean,” Richie jokes, and it earns him a swat to the forearm as there’s more laughs. “Sorry, Mom!”

Eddie takes his vows from his pocket awkwardly with his free hand, unfolding the paper and rereading what he’s written.

“Richie: I’m not the best with my words, so I won’t dawdle. There was always something missing in my life, and I never knew what it was. I tried to fill it with work, a sham of a marriage, and then by coming out and trying to live as my authentic self, or whatever. But I still felt a little empty, until you came along. And you helped me discover my meaning and purpose, and I’m so grateful to you for that. I suppose my vows are exactly the same: to always love and be happy with you.”

“Very beautiful, guys,” Mike says, just to them. “Now the couple must walk around the Christmas tree, decorating it as they go.”

With smiles on their faces, and fingers intertwined beneath the tinsel, they do as they’re bid. Bill walks behind them, a box of decorations in his arms that Eddie and Richie reach into every every few steps. They come to a stop where they started, and that’s it. Eddie feels every single bit of Christmas joy and magic that there is in the world, and not just within the North Pole. His whole body feels like it’s vibrating. Richie places a star on the top of the tree, and it starts glowing.

“Is this how you always feel?” Eddie whispers to Richie as he watches it.

“Mostly around Christmas, but yeah.”

“I now introduce you all to the new Santa Claus: Eddie Kaspbrak!” Mikes shouts out, and every elf starts cheering and clapping. “You may now kiss the groom!”

Eddie takes that to heart, and makes a dramatic showing of grabbing Richie, and swooping him down to do so. It surprises Richie, but he smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around Eddie’s body before Eddie pulls him back up.

Music starts up right away, and snowflakes begin to fall like confetti. The celebration has begun. After Mike unties them, Richie leans down to give Eddie another kiss.

“How’s it feel to be Santa?” Richie asks, playing with the white trimming of Eddie’s suit.

“Feels amazing,” Eddie says, looking up at Richie fondly.

“Yeah? You wanna go feel amazing back in our room?” Richie raises his eyebrows a few times suggestively, his hand moving from the button to the main fabric of the suit.

“What? Really? Right now?” Eddie’s eyes widen as they follow Richie’s hand on his chest.

“Mm-hmm. You think you could keep the suit on?”

“Fork. Shirt. Yeah, okay, let’s go.” Eddie grabs Richie’s hand, and they quickly leave the festivities behind.

*~.~*

Thanksgiving night is spent feasting, and it’s a good time having new and old friends around Eddie. Patty and Stan spend some time talking with Bill, Ben, Bev and Mike, learning about the local Elvish and Santa history and culture. Eddie just likes listening to the conversation rather than taking part in it, laughing whenever Richie cracks a funny joke, pretending to glare when it’s a not so funny one.

Stan and Patty are seen off the following morning, Ben and Beverly going with them to look after them after their trip.

After that, Eddie gets right into the Santa training. There’s lots to do, and he has only twenty four days to do it, but he’s determined. He knocks the fitness stuff right out of the park, already being a runner. He beats Wentworth’s mile time by a minute, and is able to run laps around the dogs in the pet simulation. 

Bill takes him out into some mountains to do some yodelling for some reason, both of them yelling “HO HO HO!” into the wind just so they can hear the echoes.

Tapping into his new magic is interesting. Eddie spends a few hours each day going down chimneys all over the North Pole, interrupting a lot of people’s days and having fun with it. He and Mike go over the Naughty and Nice List, with Mike giving him names of random kids and asking whether they’ve been good or not. Eddie answers on instinct, and gets them right every single time.

Bill does toy inspections with him, teaching him how to spot defects and where to have the toy sent should any be found. Imperfections in details aren’t seen as defects, though, they’re just ways that the toy is unique to the child, and Eddie likes that.

He spends the last part of his days before bed with the reindeer, caring for them, feeding them, building a bond with each of them. His favourite is Comet, always the first to come to him for a snuggle. He learns the ins and outs of the sleigh, how to steer the reindeer, how to put their harnesses on himself. Eddie does a few test runs around the Arctic Circle, and grows comfortable flying it by himself.

And then he goes home to Richie, more often than not too tired to do much else besides cuddle in bed and watch The Office. Richie insists that they’re Jim and Pam, but Eddie knows they’re Michael and Holly.

*~.~*

Christmas Eve arrives, and to say Eddie is feeling nervous is putting it mildly. Throughout the day Richie has to pull his metaphorical hair back as he vomits into a toilet.

“Richie, what if I can’t do it? What if I miss some poor kids house and then they’re without a present on Christmas morning? That would be  _ the worst _ , I’ll have failed as Santa on my first run out!”

Richie wipes at his forehead with a towel. “Eddie, you’re gonna do great. And it’s your second run, remember? You already did this once before, and you did good.”

“Dude,  _ I accidentally murdered your dad.  _ That’s the absolutely worst thing that could happen while out delivering presents!” Eddie points out.

Richie helps him to his feet, rolling his eyes. “Then the worst has already happened. There’s literally nothing worse that could happen this year. I believe in you, Eds. You’re going to deliver so much joy and cheer to so many kids' faces. Just remember who you’re doing this for, okay?”

Eddie nods, rinsing his mouth out with some water at the sink. “I’m doing this for the kids. I’m making the world a happier place.

“Yeah you are, honey!” Richie praises, giving Eddie a kiss on the mouth.

“Dude, I  _ just  _ vomited.”

“Yeah, I know, that was gross.”

Eddie manages to keep some food down around lunch. He reviews the Naughty and Nice List again, the usual variant in children switching between the two making itself very apparent, but Eddie is lenient, like all Santas. He briefly contemplates bringing back coal as a punishment for the naughty children when one kid on the Nice List does something very ashole-ish, but quickly decides against it. That requires a whole coal mining operation and the Santa who finally realised it wasn’t worth it is Eddie’s hero.

Anxiety rolls through Eddie as the hours wind down to departure. He tries to relax with Richie, but he’s too wound up to focus on The Office. He just ends up chewing at hangnails and pacing around the room.

Finally, 10PM rolls around, and the last of the flight checks are being performed for Eddie’s first solo outing as Santa. He and Richie head down to the stables to help set up the sleigh and put the reindeer into their harnesses. All of them look very eager to get going, especially Comet, as Eddie scratches her behind the ears.

“Eddie, you wanna go over the route with me again?” Bill asks as he walks in.

“I’m going down to the UK and Ireland first. I make my way through Europe, then down to Africa, India, then Asia,” Eddie lists off, Bill nodding at his words. “Then Australia, New Zealand, Antarctica. I do all the islands then I head up through South America, the islands around there, North America, Greenland and finally back here. I know, Bill.”

“I know you you know. I’ll see you in a few hours, Eddie. Let us know on the radio if you run into any trouble.”   
  
“Yeah.”

“Good luck,” Bill gives him a slap on the shoulder, then heads back out, speaking into a headset. “Is the runway ready yet? Get those forking lights on, then, son of a bench! Come on!”

Richie chuckles behind him, strapping in Prancer into her harness. “How you feeling, babe?”

Eddie moves onto Cupid. “Strangely calm, now that I think about it. I suppose that’s part of the magic.”

“Nah, that’s all you,” Richie smiles, winking.

Donner comes forward next, letting Eddie put her into her harness. She’s not one for pats, and Eddie respects that, letting her go once she’s done. Richie, Eddie and a few different Elves finish getting the reindeer ready, and then it’s only a few minutes until it's time to go.

The stable doors are opened, and the reindeer file out to go take their positions, well trained after many years in service. Eddie jumps into the sleigh as the reindeer are attached to the reins, and Richie comes to stand beside him. They lean towards each other for a kiss.

“Hey, Eddie,” Richie says.

“Yeah?”

Richie’s eyes twinkle in the low light emanating from the runway and stables. He does look happy, and Eddie can see all the love for him within them. Eddie hopes Richie can see all the love he has in return. They kiss again, then touch their foreheads together.

“I love you, Eds, and I’m truly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’ll see you in a few hours. I’ll be waiting right here.”

“I love you, too, Richie. I’ll see you soon.”   
  
They smile at each other, and there’s another quick kiss, then Eddie sits up straight, the last reindeer now in place. He grips the reins tightly as Richie and the elves back away from the sleigh. Eddie starts to feel like he’s vibrating, faster than before, as he feels the Christmas magic pouring through him, into the sleigh, the reins and reindeer.

“Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer, and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!” Eddie says the magic words, and gives the reins a whip, and the sleigh and reindeer slowly begin to hover as the reindeer begin to charge.

And then they’re off, faster than sound, time slowing down as Eddie flies away. His anxiety is whipped away by the wind that stings his eyes, feeling more at peace than he ever has before. Eddie looks up, seeing a turtle amongst the stars and he smiles, giving a loud cheer and looking forward to bringing some joy to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap, folx! I hope you enjoyed reading this! If you did, make sure to show your appreciation by leaving a kudos or a comment! And do so for other creators, too! You can expect the next two parts sometime in January. I hope everyone were able to have enjoyable holidays after a very not-so-enjoyable year. Much love and hope from me for a better 2021!
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://pieofepicness.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/PieOfEpicness).


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